Effective Co-Parenting Tips: How to Work with Your Ex for Your Children's Well-Being
North Vancouver Family Counselling
Co-parenting can be a challenging and emotional experience for many families, especially after a separation or divorce. However, with the right mindset and strategies, it is possible to create a positive co-parenting relationship with your ex that benefits your children's well-being. Here are some tips on how to co-parent effectively:
1. Communicate clearly and respectfully: Open and honest communication is essential for effective co-parenting. It is important to be clear with your ex about your expectations, concerns, and plans for your children. However, it is equally important to be respectful and avoid using hostile or aggressive language during conversations. According to a study published in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, effective communication between co-parents can lead to more positive outcomes for children (Buehler et al., 2010).
2. Create a co-parenting plan: A co-parenting plan can help you and your ex establish clear guidelines and expectations for raising your children. This can include details about schedules, pick-up and drop-off times, holidays, and communication protocols. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that having a detailed co-parenting plan can help reduce conflict and promote positive co-parenting relationships (Feinberg et al., 2012).
3. Prioritize your children's needs: It is important to put your children's needs first when co-parenting. This means making decisions that are in their best interests, even if they may not align with your own preferences. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, parents who prioritize their children's needs over their own are more likely to have positive co-parenting relationships (Kramer et al., 2016).
4. Seek support when needed: Co-parenting can be emotionally challenging, and it is okay to seek support from a therapist or counsellor when needed. A mental health professional can help you navigate difficult emotions and provide tools for effective communication and problem-solving. According to a study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, parents who receive support from mental health professionals have better co-parenting outcomes (Hardesty et al., 2016).
Co-parenting can be a positive experience for families when approached with the right mindset and strategies. By communicating clearly, creating a co-parenting plan, prioritizing your children's needs, and seeking support when needed, you can establish a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex that benefits your children's well-being. If you are looking for counselling support to help navigate co-parenting with an ex, please feel free to book a free 15 min intro call. In-person counselling in North Vancouver is available, as well as online appointments across BC.
References:
Buehler, C., Gerard, J.M., & Cummings, E.M. (2010). Parental communication and children's behavior in divorced and intact families. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 51(3), 168-182.
Feinberg, M.E., Jones, D.E., Hostetler, M.L., Roettger, M.E., Paul, I.M., & Ehrenthal, D.B. (2012). Couple-focused prevention at the transition to parenthood, a randomized trial: Effects on coparenting, parenting, family violence, and parent and child adjustment. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(2), 229-240.
Hardesty, J.L., Crossman, K.A., Haselschwerdt, M.L., Raffaelli, M., Ogolsky, B.G., & Johnson, D.B. (2016). Making parenting plans in high-conflict custody cases: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(8), 2462-2474.
Kramer, L., Kleiboer, A., & Willemsen, T.M. (2016). Parenting after separation and divorce: Factors affecting co-parenting well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 78(4), 908-924.